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So this was going to be "day of jobs", with an emphasis on trying to call real live people at various universities and not just relying on online applications. But am having all sorts of second thoughts - maybe this is not the day people want to think about hiring; maybe I look insensitive if I'm shilling for work when other people are memorializing.
Or maybe that's just an excuse, 'cause I want to put off doing it.
I dunno: I think I'm going to make this "day of household tasks" instead; maybe do something about some personal communications I've been neglecting, I've always been a fan of that "remember the lost by remembering the living" sort of thing. In a way, it would be kind of nice to do something on the job front - I don't think the attacks were *why* things fell apart for me at school, but it definitely didn't help; I remember being in the lab on the 12th trying to learn this entirely new set of procedures from someone about to leave the lab, and being completely unable to concentrate, and being completely off track for weeks, although a lot of that was personal-life trauma. Er, so it would be kind of nice to be doing some kind of "take back my life" thing.
Sigh. To be honest, the big anniversary for me this month is not September 11th, it's my breakup with SS a week earlier. And a big part of my feelings about 9/11 at the time were "my god, the entire world really is falling apart". And in choosing to reject that sense of meltdown in my own life, I find myself left without much to feel about the attacks.
Or maybe that's just an excuse, 'cause I want to put off doing it.
I dunno: I think I'm going to make this "day of household tasks" instead; maybe do something about some personal communications I've been neglecting, I've always been a fan of that "remember the lost by remembering the living" sort of thing. In a way, it would be kind of nice to do something on the job front - I don't think the attacks were *why* things fell apart for me at school, but it definitely didn't help; I remember being in the lab on the 12th trying to learn this entirely new set of procedures from someone about to leave the lab, and being completely unable to concentrate, and being completely off track for weeks, although a lot of that was personal-life trauma. Er, so it would be kind of nice to be doing some kind of "take back my life" thing.
Sigh. To be honest, the big anniversary for me this month is not September 11th, it's my breakup with SS a week earlier. And a big part of my feelings about 9/11 at the time were "my god, the entire world really is falling apart". And in choosing to reject that sense of meltdown in my own life, I find myself left without much to feel about the attacks.
