overly sensitive?

[psocoptera]

So I was generally grumpy about the length and format of the preschool open house I went to on Thursday, and it's possible that if I hadn't already been in a bad mood about that, I would have brushed this off and it wouldn't still be bugging me, but it is, so I'd like other people's perspectives. One of the speakers said that she was a working mother, and then added this little disclaimer, "but of course every mother is a working mother, and every dad has two jobs."

Um, okay. What about the dads with *one* job, you know, primary caretaker while their partner goes to work? Admittedly, this isn't my own personal situation, and for all I know it wasn't the situation of any of the people there that night, so maybe it's inappropriate for me to take offense. But, I don't know. Stay at home dads are my professional colleagues, they deserve as much credit as anyone else in our industry, solidarity! And, I guess I do feel a little personally annoyed, in that I like to think of my staying home as a decision we made in response to our particular specific situation, that could have gone another way under other circumstances, and marginalizing the other options makes it seem like less of a choice. But maybe that's just a lie I tell myself anyways and we're totally upholding the patriarchy. (But I'd still like to be a good ally to my colleagues.)

Comments

[belecrivain.livejournal.com]

yeah, I'm surprised she said that, given that the economy has meant a lot more SAHDs than there used to be.

coincidentally, I said to Mike last night, "It's like, if I want a break from my job, I have to ask you to work a second job."

[irilyth]

> I said to Mike last night, "It's like, if I want a break from my job, I have to ask you to work a second job."

There's something to that; on the other hand, when it's not your full-time job, it can feel more like fun than like a job. Not just parenting -- lots of people do lots of things for fun that other people do for work... Sometimes even the same people doing the same things, in a slightly different context. :^) (e.g. people who work with computers for a living, and also as a hobby)

[psocoptera.livejournal.com]

But if everyone is tired and not having fun, someone still has to do the work...

[irilyth]

No, it's true. I'm just sayin' that the same activity can feel different if it's your full-time job, or if it's a hobby.