lifeguard of the bathtub

[psocoptera]

Over on Captain Awkward someone has written in about a husband so addicted to games he even plays them on his phone while bathing the kids. In fact if you read the whole letter the gaming sounds way out of balance, I don't mean to trivialize it, but I was surprised by how many people seemed to see the bath thing as the most excessive of the excesses. Because kids! can drown! in the bath! Which... seems excessively paranoid, to me? I don't ever *leave the room* while my kid is in the bath, and I would not be happy if I saw a lifeguard at our local pool playing games on her phone while on duty, but a lifeguard might have a dozen people all moving around doing complicated things. It just does not require as much processing power to tell if a kid in the bathtub is okay or not; if you're sitting there and not, like, asleep, you can tell.

But I am curious what y'all think about this, and so, a poll! (A fake poll, as I don't have a paid account.) Which of the following do you consider unsafe to do in the bathroom while supervising a kid's bath?

- play games on phone
- text on phone
- talk on phone
- knit
- read a magazine
- brush your teeth
- poop (yes, sorry, ew, but it's a thing you might do in a bathroom that is harder to instantly put down than a phone)
- hold another kid/baby (another thing somewhat harder to instantly drop)
- breastfeed another kid/baby
- anything whatsoever other than remaining crouched in a ready position next to the tub with both hands free

Comments

[irilyth]

Hopefully this comment won't alarm you too much. :^)

For one thing, though, it varies with the age/maturity of the kid. I never used to do any of those things back when bathtime involved me constantly having my hands on her; now that she can play safely in the bath by herself, I feel pretty comfortable doing other things while I'm in the bathroom with her; but only things that (a) allow me to keep an eye and ear on her; (b) I can drop in an instant if need be.

So from your list, basically everything other than the "another kid/baby" ones sound ok to me (and in fact I've done many of them), because those are the two that seem like they could be hard to drop instantly. Although in fact, if I had him in the sling, I might be willing to? But enh, that would still be pretty hard, if something really bad happened (she fell over and cut her head open on the faucet or something). I think I'd only want to have a second kid in play if I could leave it safely unattended, like in a jumparoo, or if it was old enough to sit still when told, or something.

Things not on your list: Listen to music with headphones (dubious, couldn't hear distress), watch a video with headphones (right out, now I don't have an eye *or* an ear on her), read a book (sure, as long as it's not so engrossing that I'm lost to the world, but I don't usually have that problem).

[psocoptera.livejournal.com]

Not alarmed, no worries. The kids in the original letter were described as being old enough to "go over and talk to him" so I was thinking more about kids in the 3-8 age range than toddlers.

I definitely agree headphones are pretty much out while on kid duty of any sort (well, okay, I used to wear headphones to listen to music or movies sometimes while breastfeeding sleepy Q or sleepifying him in the Ergo) and interestingly I think I might actually be more comfortable with the idea of bathing Junie while wrangling Q? I mean, not that it sounds *fun*, but if you're out of town I'm not sure what else I would do with them?

[irilyth]

Yeah, I thought about the out-of-town thing a bit, and in fact if I had to give her a bath tonight and you weren't around to take Q, I'd come up with something. :^) In the "leave it safely unattended" category, presumably. Not in the bumbo, evidently. :^)

[glynhogen.livejournal.com]

I'm typically more involved in the bath (although she's washing her own body, I'm reduced to chatting, finding toys, and doing her hair), but I'd have no hesitation to do any of those activities. When she was really little, she was in the bath on the sink and my hands were always Right There. When she got big enough for the regular tub...I want to be close enough to pull her up if she slips under the water. (Only happened once; she was terrified, I didn't have time to be terrified.) I've actually had different levels of acceptable time out of the bathroom (e.g. grabbing a towel or a cup). When she was younger, it was a count of fifteen. Now I can go a little longer, especially when she's particularly talkative.

[psocoptera.livejournal.com]

I don't do Junie's bath very often, Josh does it, but when I do, there is the "toys" phase where I'm just watching and then the "washing" phase where I remind her to wash things and shampoo her hair.

Quentin goes in the bath with me and honestly a third hand would be useful there. He is a long way from being able to sit on his own in the tub without me holding onto him.

[irilyth]

She's gotten somewhat more involved in her own washing when I do it, although I usually retain control of the bottle of soap. (But I'll often squirt some on her hands or a body part, and then she'll scrub it.) I still do hair, and have no idea when she'll ever want to do that herself. :^p

Quentin is only barely/recently able to sit on his own on the *floor* without someone holding on to him. :^)

[rebeccapaul.livejournal.com]

Now that Jonah is five, I will even leave him momentarily to go to the next room (but not down the stairs).

[rivka17.livejournal.com]

With Lirael, we sometimes bath her and micah at the same time then we watch like a hawk (she can get pretty rough and micah insists on standing). if L is by herself we will often leave the room and fold laundry as long as we can hear her talking /splashing etc. and we come running every time she gets quiet. I think that with young ages either hearing or seeing is necessary but not both at the same time if they are old enough to know better than to stand up in the slippery tub.

The most dangerous thing I do with M is shower at the same time as him, this is only dangerous for the 30 sec it takes to wash the soap out of my eyes while he insists on trying to use my legs as a walker so he can reach the faucet.

I probably have done all of the the things on the list except poop for L and none of them for M. Plus I will walk out of the room to do folding / pick up of stuff within ~ 15 feet of the bathroom door.