resorting to bad parody

[psocoptera]

I feel so awkward complaining when there are so many people who would *love* to be able to be 39-and-a-half weeks pregnant. But the problems of privilege are still problematic for the privileged, you know? One of my hips hurts no matter what I do, I can't walk more than a few steps without charley-horse-like spasms in my inner thigh, and I am running out of cope. I just want to hold my baby and know that it made it out okay. I want to hit bottom on the downhill part, however low that's going to be, and know that after that I'm healing instead of declining. I wouldn't mind pushing this thing out before it gets any enormous-er, either.

I know that Dr. Seuss parody is mostly painful, but I am stuck on this couch and had no internet for a large part of the day. It's this or fanfic. Fic in the next post.


My hips did not work
And my legs were too weak
So I sat in the house
All that long, long, long week.

I sat there with baby
My internal neighbor.
And I said, "How I wish
I could go into labor!"

Too sore to go out
(And shaped just like a ball)
So I sat in the house.
I did nothing at all.

So all I could do was to
Sit!
Sit!
Sit!
Sit!
And I did not like it.
Not one little bit.

Could something go clench?
Could something go ouch?
Could something please rescue me
Off of this couch?

If only I knew of
A series of actions
Reliably known for
Producing contractions...

Comments

[eastgategirl.livejournal.com]

Loved your verse. No need to apologize to Dr. Seuss.

Sending you many hugs and much love and high hopes that that baby will be born very soon. I can just about guarantee that in short order, you will have forgotten the aches and pains and discomfort and inconvenience and be enthralled with the new life that you and Josh have created.

[stowaway-geek.livejournal.com]

Best of luck! If this is your response to pain and frustration, I am impressed...

[mst3kforall.livejournal.com]

I think it's clever! And you are entitled to your pain and frustration.

[eclectic-boy.livejournal.com]

Art is the result of suffering... so I expect by next week you'll be tossing off sestinas right and left. Best of luck!

[belecrivain.livejournal.com]

I keep checking in hoping for news of Baby Bluebird on the outside safely. Pulling for you...

(is your OB willing to do anything that might speed things along? Strip membranes, etc.? Although you know I'm talking out of my ass with that kind of thing.)

[psocoptera.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I assume if I make it to my midwives appointment tomorrow, and they're doing an internal anyways, I'll ask if there's anything like that they can do while they're up there? (Last week they were all "see you next week!" and I was like "no I am having this baby instead!" which they agreed was reasonable but time is running out on that plan...)

[cereph.livejournal.com]

Ha, that is great! (the poem, not the pain you are in).

[sofer.livejournal.com]

Hee - I like the verse. Sympathy on the pain - I hope you don't have to wait much longer!