caution: girlparts

[psocoptera]

Was just reading someone's blog wherein she described her hysterosalpingogram as "excruciating" and I remembered that I had wanted to write something about mine here and never did.

What I wanted to write was more or less "mine was easy and my worry was misplaced", but let me back up a step for everyone going "your whoosiwhat now?". An HSG is an X-ray imaging of the uterus and Fallopian tubes (I warned y'all about the girlparts) via the injection of contrast dye. It's one of the first-line tests they do in cases of possible infertility. (We'd only been trying for about eight months, but I saw no point in not finding out as soon as possible if we were going to need to escalate to some sort of assisted conception or whatever else.)

I had read scary things about the severe pain and was pretty freaked out - I even made Josh come along in case I was so crippled by pain or sobbing or whatever that I couldn't drive myself home. This turned out to be entirely unnecessary; the insertion of the catheter through my cervix (girlparts girlparts girlparts!) was mildly uncomfortable, but less so than a pap smear, and the inflation of the little balloon that held it in place felt like menstrual cramps, but not as bad as my worst cramps. It was well worth the awesomeness of seeing my very own uterus on the viewscreen.

I should add that my parts turned out to be healthy and the dye spilled through one tube immediately and the other shortly thereafter; I understand that it's more painful if you turn out to have blocked tubes. And I did remember to take ibuprofen in advance which I'm sure helped. But I wanted to put my experience out there as a PSA for any of y'all who might someday have it done and come across the scary descriptions on the internet: at least one person you actually know says it was not a big deal. (Extra PSA for any male partners reading this: even if not excruciatingly painful, "catheterization" still way outscores "wanking" on the medical suffering scale, so your female partner still totally gets to be annoyed by the contrast in your contributions to this first round of testing.)

Oh, and one other thing: apparently sometimes just having the HSG done sort of "clears the way" for conception; we started the meeple on that cycle, which could easily just be a coincidence, but who knows? We had a pretty short "baby chase" as it turned out and I totally don't want to be all "I got lucky, you might too!" when I know it's not that easy for lots of people, but I would have to give two thumbs up to the HSG based on my own personal experience.

Comments

[uncleamos]

Wait wait wait wait. What is this meeple talk? Have I missed something I shouldn't have missed?

[wayman.livejournal.com]

You should join SWAPA :-)

[uncleamos]

No, I should not.

[crystalpyramid]

You should! You really should!

Or, failing that, you should find someone who is in SWAPA and borrow their SWAPA 313 for the ten minutes necessary to read psocoptera's totally awesome 'zine. Because if people just tell you, you miss the illustrations.

[psocoptera.livejournal.com]

The temptation to reply "you just thought I was getting fat, huh" is surprisingly strong. ::grin:: I am in fact nearly sixteen weeks knocked up, due late March. 'Sfar as missing things, do you read Josh's journal (http://irilyth.livejournal.com/226732.html)?

[uncleamos]

Not last week, apparently.

Good for you guys.

[psocoptera.livejournal.com]

I never replied to this - thanks!

[rebeccapaul.livejournal.com]

I'm sure the contrast dye goes away quickly, but that doesn't stop me from imagining your meeple being born covered in contrast dye. (I'm imagining purple.)

[psocoptera.livejournal.com]

Hee hee, purple meeple. (May now be adding "it was a two-eared-two-eyed-crying-purple-meeple-pee-er..." to the repertoire of stupid things I sing in the car...) I think the dye was either colorless or brownish (there was also a whole "washing" stage so it is hard to say what was soap and what was dye). I was actually curious about what was in the dye and asked about it when they asked if I had any questions; pulling out "no really, I'm a biochemist, you can use the big words" got them to elaborate from "it's just a contrast agent" to "it contains iodine". Is it so much to ask for a brief lecture on radiopacity as long as I'm in the stirrups with nothing better to do? ::grin::

[miraling.livejournal.com]

First I should point out that I have turned into a medical geek, since as soon as I saw "hysterosalpingogram" before the cut I got really excited and was slightly disappointed you didn't actually post a picture.

Good to know it doesn't necessarily hurt! Um, in case I ever get to the "trying to get pregnant" part of the fertility dance.

[psocoptera.livejournal.com]

Nobody ever gives me a picture: when I had an MRI a few years ago I begged for some printouts of my brain (or to be emailed a few files) but no. Finally with the meeple they are giving me ultrasound printouts, I guess because it is normal to want to remember the cute little curve of your baby's skull but not the elegance of your Fallopian tubes or something. Of course the images they choose are all focused on the face and arms and stuff and not so much the awesome transverse shot of the brain, at least so far.

[glynhogen.livejournal.com]

Ooh, something they didn't do to my girlparts. (I jumped straight to the hysteroscopy.) It does seem like experiences vary wildly for this sort of thing, or maybe it's just a pain threshold thing. I'm glad yours was on the "not a big deal" end of the scale.

And now I, too, have an image of a purple-hued meeple.

[psocoptera.livejournal.com]

Maybe "hey, cool" should not be my response here, but, um, could you see cool stuff in the hysteroscopy?

I don't think it can be a pain threshhold thing exactly, as I'm generally a big wuss; maybe I just got a tech with really steady hands or something??

[glynhogen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it was like I was the star of my very own Nova special. I did get a kick out of it. Way better than "Would you like to see your cervix?" in the BMC health center.

Steady hands probably help a lot. :) The personal squick factor may play a role, too. I know I can deal better with some things that, by any objective standard, are more painful than others that make me go all flinchy. (A glaucoma test still bothers me more than 90% of the girlparts poking and prodding.)

[psocoptera.livejournal.com]

Nova special, that's awesome.

Anything involving the eyes gets an automatic 2x squick bonus at least, imo...

[sofer.livejournal.com]

So an HSG is squirting liquid through the fallopian tubes? Does it actually get injected into the uterine lining? I'm asking because I'm still having problems with my period and my gynacologist wants me to get an ultrasound where they inject water into the uterine lining to look for polyps or anything else that shouldn't be there. She claims that it hurts about as much as menstrual cramps, but I'm still kind of freaked out by it.

Anyway, I'm glad the HSG wasn't so bad. Also, cool that you got to see your uterus. When I had a regular old ultrasound, they didn't show me the screen or give me pictures.

[psocoptera.livejournal.com]

I don't think it was in the uterine lining, no. (Huh, *can* you inject stuff into the lining? That's sort of interesting.) I can see where that sounds extra-bonus-freaky! But I guess I would encourage you to be optimistic - menstrual cramps sounds tolerable, if unpleasant. (Is there a chance she explained badly and it's just an injection into the uterus to visualize the lining?) Also, you should totally demand to get see the screen.

[jenizie.livejournal.com]

Yah, my HSG wasn't so bad either. Not fun, and there was cramping that was briefly as bad as moderate-to-bad menstrual cramps, but nothing worse. Apparently though the reaction to that is intensely variable -- another friend who had one described the pain as comparable to the worst part of labor.

Sofer, I had another test which I think is the same thing you're describing, and that I really didn't feel much at all. Again, reactions probably vary, but at least there's another data point on the side of not so bad.

[psocoptera.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that whole "worst part of labor" sort of thing is why I was freaking out... gah.

[carnap.livejournal.com]

There's a test that involves wanking? What's that for exactly?

[tirerim.livejournal.com]

To see whether your sperm are of sufficient quantity and properly formed.

[carnap.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but is this actually a stage in maternity care? To figure out of there's likely to be something wrong with the meeple or something?

[tirerim.livejournal.com]

No, it's a stage in fertility testing, just as the hysterosalpingogram is. Entirely pre-meeple.

[glynhogen.livejournal.com]

It's a very simple and early test when they suspect fertility issues. If the sperm are numerous, well-formed, and motile, they're fine and it's time to entirely concentrate on the girly side of things.

[jaipur.livejournal.com]

Yikes!! The one time I had to get an endometrial biopsy, the second they got past the cervix a shot of adrenaline went straight up my spine, bypassed the brain completely and shot straight into the brainstem, making me scream uncontrollably and break into hysterical sobbing. Embarrassed myself and everyone in the room, because it didn't really *hurt*, it was just pure unadulterated panic, but they thought they were killing me. I am very glad your experience with similar bits was not traumatic!! Just the thought of it makes me twitch... ;)

[psocoptera.livejournal.com]

Ugh, sorry to trigger bad memories. That sounds like a really awful experience.