book review: All the Fishes Come Home to Roost

[psocoptera]

rachelmanija is a person in (or near?) fandom who says smart and funny things on the internet, and this her book is also smart and funny. (I understand why some people need to keep their fandom work separate from their pro work, but I must say I really enjoy it when someone can mention their own book by title and I can just go read it without mysterious hints and needing someone in the know to clue me in to their secret identity.) So. All the Fishes Come Home to Roost is a memoir about her childhood at an ashram in India; memoir isn't a go-to genre for me, but this one was vivid and compelling. Possibly also a bad book to read as a parent, in that I found myself feeling a sort of too-easy superiority to her parents (I didn't drag my kid to an ashram in India, I must be a great parent!). But, in fact, as I kept reading, I tried to reflect a little deeper, and she brought her own analysis to her stories, that matched up with what I was taking away, that there was a more general lesson here, about really hearing your kid. Not that everything has to be a parenting lesson, just, I don't know, I try to be aware of the dangers of cheap self-congratulation? (Also another more chilling lesson, in that one of the worst things that happens to her is something done once, by a trusted adult, and for once her parents do seem appropriately protective and invested in making sure it can't happen again, but, reading this as a parent, it's easy to say "well, I would never take my kids to an ashram in India" but sadly unrealistic to say "and also I will magically be sure that none of the adults I trust with my kids would ever hurt them". And that's upsetting to think about.) Anyways, good book, there's a bit that made me cry, other bits that made me laugh, recommended.