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our trio down to two
Nov. 18th, 2009 09:56 pmJosh gets back tonight from his first Trip Away; it's just been me and the small sidekick since Sunday. It was easier than I thought it might be. Definitely constrained: with no possibility of catching up if I fall behind, I've had to really seriously Sleep When The Baby Sleeps even when I'm tempted to use that time for something else. (I should finish this post and go back up within the next ten minutes...) It's made me reluctant to leave the house during the day for anything but short errands, as Juniper tends to doze off in the car and then that's a nap I'm not taking with her. I've also felt like I can't afford to do anything that would make me extra tired, thus no exercise. (Sure, yes, in the long run exercise would give me more energy, but in a given day, walking to the library rather than driving = that much more tired that night.)
In many ways, though, it was actually easier for me, knowing for sure that I had no margin and no backup, than it is to navigate the uncertainty of trading off. One of the hardest parts of my day is often waiting for Josh to get home, when I'm tired and impatient and half-assing it... not anticipating getting a break actually made it easier to focus and stay engaged, somehow. And having a couple days of no other parent has also made me think more about the ways that mediating Junie's interaction with the other parent is and isn't part of the parenting job, and what it means when we do or don't say that someone's specifically on duty to wrangle the baby. Even just the little things - I felt much less confused about what was going on at night, and more able to remember the course of the night the next day, doing all of the night work solo... of course Juniper may have had to cry a little longer before I woke up (Josh seems to be more alert to her now that she's in the room next door, which is interesting, because I don't think that was true when she was still in the cosleeper), but she seems to be doing ok.
Anyways, I'm twenty minutes over my bedtime (bad mama) but it was an interesting experience. Thanks again to my awesome friends and family who came over to hang out with me or got me out of the house in the evening.
In many ways, though, it was actually easier for me, knowing for sure that I had no margin and no backup, than it is to navigate the uncertainty of trading off. One of the hardest parts of my day is often waiting for Josh to get home, when I'm tired and impatient and half-assing it... not anticipating getting a break actually made it easier to focus and stay engaged, somehow. And having a couple days of no other parent has also made me think more about the ways that mediating Junie's interaction with the other parent is and isn't part of the parenting job, and what it means when we do or don't say that someone's specifically on duty to wrangle the baby. Even just the little things - I felt much less confused about what was going on at night, and more able to remember the course of the night the next day, doing all of the night work solo... of course Juniper may have had to cry a little longer before I woke up (Josh seems to be more alert to her now that she's in the room next door, which is interesting, because I don't think that was true when she was still in the cosleeper), but she seems to be doing ok.
Anyways, I'm twenty minutes over my bedtime (bad mama) but it was an interesting experience. Thanks again to my awesome friends and family who came over to hang out with me or got me out of the house in the evening.
