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I apparently have a paid account now and it was apparently a gift from rhoddlet, who I do not comment back to nearly enough (seriously, I have, um, ::goes and counts:: eight comment-notifications in my inbox that are still there 'cause I meant to reply to you). I am surprised and grateful and tickled with warm fuzzies. Ask me to write you something, or, uh, something. ::hugs rhoddlet::
Nov. 5th, 2002
argh II: son of argh
Nov. 5th, 2002 11:36 pmIt turned out I had indeed botched things at work yesterday (in an exciting twist, the thing I realized I had screwed up turned out to be less of a problem than a mistake I didn't even realize until today I had made - it was that kind of day), but ::looks around for boss:: in a way I'm almost kind of glad.
'Cause, see, there was experiment failure and anxiety and stuff, but that's *all*, and today I was on time (after voting, even) and got stuff done more or less reasonably. Yesterday was like one of the bad days of yore, and I've been dreading the bad days showing up again and getting me off track (because I was starting to get sort of due, in terms of historical average bad-day-free time periods), but they *did* show up and there was recovery instead of doom and despair. I'm still employed. Daniel is re-figuring the experiment schedule. My belief that I can and will show up tomorrow and be productive persists. I'm disappointed about the loss of those results ::wanted to see!:: but I think having to repeat five days of work may actually be worth it to me for the experience that a single day of badness doesn't have to turn into a giant badness cascade.
But don't tell my boss I said that.
In other news, while I'm patting myself on the back, I should also pat Letzan, whose very very helpful phone call may have been the butterfly flap in the recent storm of self-trust, or something... er... ::hits metaphor with stick:: ::hugs Letzan::
'Cause, see, there was experiment failure and anxiety and stuff, but that's *all*, and today I was on time (after voting, even) and got stuff done more or less reasonably. Yesterday was like one of the bad days of yore, and I've been dreading the bad days showing up again and getting me off track (because I was starting to get sort of due, in terms of historical average bad-day-free time periods), but they *did* show up and there was recovery instead of doom and despair. I'm still employed. Daniel is re-figuring the experiment schedule. My belief that I can and will show up tomorrow and be productive persists. I'm disappointed about the loss of those results ::wanted to see!:: but I think having to repeat five days of work may actually be worth it to me for the experience that a single day of badness doesn't have to turn into a giant badness cascade.
But don't tell my boss I said that.
In other news, while I'm patting myself on the back, I should also pat Letzan, whose very very helpful phone call may have been the butterfly flap in the recent storm of self-trust, or something... er... ::hits metaphor with stick:: ::hugs Letzan::