hey internet, help me pick a camera

I've been using my cellphone camera for the past nine months which is fine outdoors but inadequate indoors. The only thing stopping me from buying a camera is feeling overwhelmed by having to shop for one. So... someone else is going to tell me what to buy, and I'll just go do that.

Here's what I want in a camera:
- runs on AA batteries
- flash turns on quickly when I turn on the camera
(I sometimes borrow Josh's camera but it drives me nuts because when the flash is finally ready several minutes after turning on the camera, whatever the kids were doing is long since over)
- will fit in my pants pocket (not necessarily comfortably, but can be jammed in there if I suddenly need both hands)
- has a camera-to-USB cable so it can talk to my computer
- auto-focus fast enough to use on moving children
- cheap enough that I don't feel crushing guilt every time I drop it or Quentin licks it or whatever

Here's what I don't care about:
- megapixels
- size of display
- whether it has a viewfinder
- a bunch of modes I will never bother to use

I realize this is probably appalling to all y'all camera geeks, like someone coming to a wine tasting and asking which one will get them drunk fastest. But basically what I do with my camera is post 640x480 images online so my parents get their monthly fix of grandkid snapshots, I just need a thing I can use to make those. (Okay, and every once in a while I want something high enough resolution to print 4x6s at CVS, but any digital camera I could possibly buy is going to be fine for that.)

So, what camera do I want?