And it was clear that you weren't there, but I wasn't sure at first whether you couldn't go on, or just didn't want to go on. That was the main thing that I was trying to read, because I figured that if you could go on, but didn't want to right then, you'd feel later like you wished you had.
I can totally see why you were interested in this distinction, but I think it's a somewhat murky one. At least, I would like to think that if I had been told that for some reason I *could not* get any medical pain relief, I would have accepted that and kept my shit a little bit more together than I did once I was placing my hopes on medication. I mean, a) it's not like I could have *stopped* in any case, I was more or less going to have to keep laboring no matter what I wanted, and b) some considerations never came into play, in what actually happened, that I'd like to think would have affected what I thought I "could" do... if for instance there had been some reason that getting meds would be risky for the baby, I think what I could do for the baby would in fact have been rather different than what I could do for my beliefs about the general costs and benefits of epidurals.
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Date: 2009-04-13 10:09 pm (UTC)I can totally see why you were interested in this distinction, but I think it's a somewhat murky one. At least, I would like to think that if I had been told that for some reason I *could not* get any medical pain relief, I would have accepted that and kept my shit a little bit more together than I did once I was placing my hopes on medication. I mean, a) it's not like I could have *stopped* in any case, I was more or less going to have to keep laboring no matter what I wanted, and b) some considerations never came into play, in what actually happened, that I'd like to think would have affected what I thought I "could" do... if for instance there had been some reason that getting meds would be risky for the baby, I think what I could do for the baby would in fact have been rather different than what I could do for my beliefs about the general costs and benefits of epidurals.